Uchiha Police Force: Naruto Uzumaki
by White-Tainted-Red
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki, a new police man at the Uchiha Police Force, starts his first day off a little too friendly with his fellow officers. The second day probably won't be much better. -Vote For The Main Pairing!-
1. You Want Me In Your Pants

**Woo-hoo! New story time! This is actually really interesting to me. It's a really long chapter, but the chappies probably will only be about half as long as this, maybe a little less or more. Hope you guys enjoy, and please review! I'm not sure what the pairing/pairings is gonna be because Naruto seems to have developed quick relationshipd with Itachi, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Kiba. He's gonna be such a manslut. Haha, kidding. Our little Naru-kun is nothing like that. He's loyal and devoted. Anwyays, review! Love you guys – WTR. **

**-x-**

"**Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tradgedy for the poor."**

**[Sholom Aleichem]**

**-x-**

The sound of bells engulfed my house. It sounded alot like the door bell, but then again I was hardly ever visited anymore, so the thought quickly escaped my mind. I gently set my cup of instant ramen on the scratched wooden desk in my room. I swooped down onto my bed and lay on my side, listening to the light drizzle outside. As I reached over to my bed side table to retrieve the TV remote, I remembered I had left it on the kitchen table during breakfast, and spilled milk on it to add to that. _Why the hell did I bring it downstairs? _I sighed and slowly sat up on my bed. When I was about to stand up, I heard a knock. A knock on the door. It wasn't very loud, just a light knock, and now I was certain there was someone standing outside, waiting for me to charm them. I ran down the stairs, almost tripping on my feet, eager to see whoever was at the door. I took a deep breath, plastered on my best smile, ruffled my hair for a bad-boy look, and slowly opened the door. My breath stopped.

At the door, there was a man, who looked about my age, 18, standing with his hands tucked into his coat. A scowl was clear on his face. Beyond the unpleasant facial expression, the man was good-looking... very good-looking. Hot son of a bitch, if I must say so myself. He was pale and dark hair framed his face. His eyes were equally dark and showed little to no emotion. It turns out the only emotion he showed was extreme dislike.

Color flooded into my face, and the man seemed to not notice. If he did, he didn't comment on it.

"Hi! I'm Naruto Uzuma... wait. Why am I introducing myself?" I said. The man's smirk only darkened my blush.

"Sasuke Uchiha. I was sent here to get you."

I gaped at the man, or should I say Sasuke. The shock passed after a couple of minutes, and I finished my previous introduction, "Uzumaki."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I know that."

"Remind me again why I'm being picked up in the first place?" I asked. He reached into the left pocket of his leather jacket and retrieved a police ID.

"Remember that job application you sent to the Uchiha Police Force last month? You're now employed. Get your stuff; we have to be there by two." Sasuke said darkly. He turned to walk back to his car, but I reached out for his shoulder.

"Wait, wait! Why didn't they _tell _me I was employed? And what do you mean, get my stuff? Where are we going?" I asked, panic rising inside of me. I tried not to react when he shook my hand off.

"We try not to reveal too much about our policemen. You're coming to live with us." I could feel his exasperation, so I ran up the stairs, leaving the door wide open and an emotionally inept Uchiha standing in the doorway.

**-x-**

We were now in a sleek black 2007 Ferrari F430. My orange luggage was stacked on my lap and underneath my feet. The bastard couldn't have driven a car that had proper storage. Thank the Lord I didn't own much.

"Sasuke, how much longer?" I asked. I was leaning against the car door, struggling to fall asleep.

"Not long. Now stop asking." He stated. I pouted and turned to look out the window. The forest had quickly turned to cozy neighbourhoods, and I could see buildings looming up ahead.

"Why... why do you live so far into the forest?" I could hear the curiosity in his voice, so I politely gave him an answer. "It's far away from large bodies of water." His eyes bore into the back of my head, but I chose to ignore it. The gentle roar of the car was putting me to sleep, anyways.

**-x-**

Someone was poking me. Poking me in an aggressive way that was likely to leave bruises.

"What the hell do you want?" I shouted, keeping my eyes shut and curling into myself. Wait. I could move! Who'd taken the suitcases off of me?

"I want you to wake up, dobe!" Sasuke yelled back. "I'm awake. Now what do you want?" I mumbled back.

"Just get off your ass and follow me." He said. I groaned and opened my eyes, blinking rapidly into the bright light.

"Where are we going?" I asked. I stepped out of the car, and enjoyed Sasuke's flinch as I shut the car door a little too hard for his liking.

"I said to follow me." He said shortly. I found it amusing that he even bothered to answer my frequent questions. "And I said where are we going!"

"To see your boss." He replied. We entered a building that was painted white and red, a sign of the Uchiha clan. He led me down a long hallway that echoed every noise made.

I tilted my head in confusion. "Is he not your boss?"

"I'd rather not call him my boss, but yes, he is." The loud screech that came from my brightly coloured suitcase droned out the last of his sentence.

"Why not?" I asked. We were approaching a door that practically screamed "Bastard inside!"

"He's an arrogant asshole, what do you think?" Sasuke said. He raised a fist to the door and rapped his knuckles against the dark wood.

"It must run in the family then." I winked at him as footsteps were heard on the other side of the door.

"Hn. Dobe." He turned away, but not before I saw a small smile on his face.

"Ah, you must be Naruto. Hello, little brother. Did you verbally abuse Naruto like you do to every other employee?" I looked at the man in front of me. He had sleek black hair that was tied into a loose ponytail, and charcoal eyes. He had two scars leading from the beginning of the bridge of his nose to about halfway on his cheekbone. He wore a suit, as would be expected of a boss, but had the sleeves rolled up, revealing pasty skin. To sum it all up, he was almost as hot as Sasuke.

"Yes. It's nice to meet you... sir?" I questioned, tilting my head slightly. Sasuke remained silent behind me, but I could practically feel the intensity of his glare on his older brother.

"The pleasure is mine. You can call me Itachi, henchman." Itachi said, the lightest hints of amusement in his voice. His face remained emotionless.

"Will I be helping with the 'dirty' work? Getting rid of bodies and such?" I teased. Itachi smirked slightly before beckoning me inside of his office. There were dark hardwood floors, and the walls were painted a dark grey. It was almost depressing. _If I ever get on his good side, I'll splatter death with vibrant colours in here._

"No, none of that. You're too innocent to do such foul things." Itachi managed to play along. I gave him my brightest smile before settling down in a leather chair in front of Itachi's desk. "I wouldn't have expected such a reaction from you, Itachi. Anyways, moving on to serious business..."

"Yes. Welcome to the Uchiha Police Force, young one. You'll be surveyed for the first two weeks on the job... and if you show enough talent, we'll keep you. If you don't, you're worthless." Itachi said as he sat down in his own chair. He immediately reached for a stack of papers on his left and pawed through them.

"Ouch." I grinned.

"Ouch indeed. Continuing on, you'll be staying in the 'Hajime' dorm. I noticed in your resume that you don't know any Japanese?" Itachi looked up from the page he was inspecting and gazed dangerously at me.

"I know a couple words, enough to get me by. I was born in America, so I don't know Japanese for obvious reasons. Despite the fact I'm of Japanese Heritage..."

"So I suppose you wouldn't know exactly what 'Hajime' is and wouldn't be able to differentiate the Kanji characters?" Itachi asked. His voice was getting more monotone by the second, and it was irking me.

"Nope."

"That's something to be proud of, Naruto. 'Hajime' means 'Beginning'. I'd like it very much if you tried working on your Japanese during your stay here. Perhaps if I got one of the Japanese men to be your guide..." The eldest Uchiha trailed off, still examining me intensely.

"Thank you, Itachi. I take great pride in my inability to learn languages. I'll try my best to learn, though." I nodded my head to reassure him. He dismissed my gesture and turned back to his papers.

"I _expect _you to do so. I'll call in Shikamaru to take you to your dorm. He's another new policeman, but he arrived about a week ago. He should have a hang of things by now. I'll ask him to take you to the weapon supplies vault so you can retrieve your personalized gun... he's currently the only one who can open the vault, other than me of course. He's a genius, and that's saying too little. Now, take this. Make sure you don't lose it. The consequences will be severe if you do." Itachi leaned over to his right and opened a drawer. He shuffled around for a couple seconds before throwing a Police ID Badge on the desk. I took it into my hands, brushing my fingertips over the soft leather before sticking it in my front pocket. Itachi sent a quick glance my way before pressing a red button sitting atop a small white box.

"Yes, Mr. Uchiha?" A feminine voice asked. I looked around quickly for the speaker before realizing the white box _was _the speaker. The holes were simply too small to see. I then noticed that the feminine voice was laced with flirtatious intent. I smiled slightly at Itachi.

"Please ask Mr. Nara to meet me in my office. He's to escort a new employee. Thank you, Mrs. Haruno."

"Of course." I had to restrain myself from laughing at the disappointed tone. Itachi glared at me, but I was practically immune. I'd been glared at my whole life. By strangers, as a matter of fact, which hurt even more. They hadn't even gotten to know me before judging me.

"You can glare all you want, Itachi. I'm immune to glares." I said. I felt my eyes start to water from my outburst.

"How exactly did you become immune, if you don't mind my asking?" I immediately tensed, and Itachi seemed to realize my discomfort because he quickly apologized.

"I-I'm sorry, Itachi. I'm just not... r-ready to share that quite yet." I whispered, frowning at a vase that housed a bouquet of roses.

"Don't apologize. I was wrong to have pried into your business." Itachi stated. His features seemed to have softened a bit. Before I could reply, though, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in, Shikamaru." Itachi said, regaining his composure, and acting all badass again. The door opened to reveal a tall brunette. He was hunching slightly at the door, his hands in his pockets, and his hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. He was wearing a pair of black sweats and a white T-shirt, and appeared to be off duty. His gaze slowly shifted to me, and I wasn't surprised to find a pair of bored looking brown eyes.

"Hello, Itachi. What calls me into your office today?" Shikamaru asked dully. Everything about him seemed dull. He just seemed bored, bored of life in general. _I'll have to make sure he finds something to enjoy in life._

"I want you to escort Mr. Uzumaki here to the weapons vault, and then back to your dorm. Give him a tour and help him with his suitcases, won't you?" Itachi said. Shikamaru gave a sigh before muttering, "Troublesome," And gesturing for me to follow him. I stuck my tongue out at Itachi before following closely behind and shutting the door.

"Hi. I'm Naruto." I said, grinning and outstretching my hand. Shikamaru stared at my hand, before oddly placing his in mine. After two quick pumps, we let go. He took the biggest two suitcases, leaving me to carry my laptop and my duffle bag.

"I'm not weak, you know." I muttered, following him down the same hallway Sasuke had led me through. "You look a little small." He replied. I just rolled my eyes at him.

"That doesn't necessarily make me weak. I could be like The Hulk, just in small form." I retorted. He stopped walking so I could catch up to him before starting again. "I didn't call you weak. I was just making an observation." He narrowed his eyes at me before a smile broke out on his face. I found myself smiling back at him.

"Oh, sorry for that, then." I apologized.

"Don't worry about it." He said with a shake of his head. We now stood in front of a large vault door. There was a control pad on the left. He set my suitcases down on the ground beside me before walking over to the control pad. It looked like you had to use Morse code to enter the password. He quickly entered the password, and I watched in awe as the vault door slowly started to shift. When I finally had a clear view of the inside, my mouth opened even further, if that was even possible. The walls were lined with guns of different types. Ranging from pistols and revolvers to assault rifles and shotguns. There were several glass containers that held switchblades of all kinds. Nun-chucks, brass knuckles, police batons, any type of weapon you could imagine were stored in this vault. Shikamaru told me to stay outside as he went inside to get my pistol. Most police men usually get a Glock 22, but seeing as this was _Uchiha _Police Forces, I wasn't too surprised when I was handed an HK 45. I grinned down at the precious firearm I held in my hands.

"Let's go, Naruto. Quit gawking at it." Shikamaru said, snapping me out of my trance. In the time I had been zoned out, Shikamaru had closed and locked the vault door, and hauled my two suitcases into his arms. "Sorry. Where are we going now?" I asked, falling in to step beside him. I stretched my shoulder slightly to keep it from cramping underneath the weight of the straps.

"We're going to our dorm, dropping off your stuff, then leaving for dinner." The lazy man answered. We turned left and walked down another hallway. At the end of this hallway, though, was a large red door. It had a couple Kanji characters written on it, most likely meaning, "Hajime." Shikmaru set the bags down once again before knocking twice on the door. I could hear a group of guys shouting from the inside. They probably hadn't heard us.

"Shikamaru, did you forget your key?" I asked, smirking at the man beside me. He turned to look at me. _Guilty as charged._

"Here, just a second." I fished a pin out of my pocket. I always kept one in my pocket for situations like this. Steadily shoving the pin into the lock, I fidgeted around for a while until I heard the lock click. Finally, I pushed against the door, only to fall flat on my face as the bastard opened it himself.

"The hell, bastard?" I shouted, rubbing my nose. I felt a cold liquid drip down my nose and onto my chin. "See what you did?" I muttered. I only then realized that there was a group of intimidating looking men standing there watching me. "Hi. I'm Naruto Uzumaki, pleased to meet you all." I said, grinning. I got up, only to push past Sasuke and head to the open door. I lifted each suit case one by one, and set them by a bunk with my name on it. My other hand still pressed against my bleeding nose. "Can you at least get me a Kleenex?" I whimpered. My head was starting to throb a bit. At that small request, all eight men in the room, including Sasuke but not including a redhead ran out to get me said Kleenex. When the first one returned, a brunette, I said a quick thank you before wiping up the bloody mess that was my hand and the bottom half of my face. I turned to the brunette again, and asked, "Could you take me to the bathroom please?"

"Sure. So you're the new guy, huh? I'm Kiba Inuzuka." Kiba said as he led me out of the room and into a door on the right. The bathroom was long and bright. It looked exactly like a public bathroom might, just a bit more decorative. The floors were black tile, but were heated. The walls were a poppy red, and were adorned with paintings and pictures. There were 10 sinks in total, and at each sink were everyone's personal toiletries. The countertops were dark granite and the wood was just as dark. Large mirrors were placed right above the sinks. There were 10 bathroom stalls and 10 shower stalls. They were all name tagged. I saw mine at the end of each row, next to a "Rock Lee."

I went over to my sink, and quickly splashed water on my face, washing away the dried blood. I took a white towel with the initials "N.U." on it and used it to dry my face. I then folded it and tossed it into the cabinet below my sink. Kiba watched me the whole time, amused at the whole procedure. I'd had to deal with nose bleeds before.

**-x-**

After I'd finished in the bathroom, Kiba led me to the dining hall. The dining hall was at least 4 times bigger than the bathroom. Rows and rows of tables were set up, and already several police officers were there, digging in to the dinner of spaghetti and meatballs. I followed Kiba to a concession booth where we gave the specifics of our spaghetti. I asked for a lot of cheese, sauce, but not many meatballs. They reprimanded me as I needed protein, but I just laughed it off. When we finally had our steaming plates and refreshing drinks, we went and sat down at a table in one of the corners. The men from my dorm were sitting there, making jokes and generally having a good time. I sat down in between Kiba and Shikamaru. The lazy man muttered a soft hello before turning back to his conversation with a chubby man. I watched everyone around me, trying to remember every detail, every expression of their faces. _These are going to be my friends. They're going to help me through the bad and join me through the good times._ I smiled to myself as I chewed thoughtfully.

"What are you smiling to yourself about, weirdo?" I heard Kiba say beside me. I hesitated before answering, "This is my life now. These are the people who will be my friends, no matter what. I'll always cherish them." Kiba wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and playfully nuzzled his face into my hair. Everyone at our table froze, watching the interaction between me and Kiba. I heard a muffled growl come from some direction to my right, but I was too embarrassed to even look up. I could feel the heat rising on my cheeks, as everyone sent suspicious glances our way.

"U-uh... I-it I-isn't what it l-looks like?" I said with a questioning tone. There were chuckles now. The tension was eased, but I couldn't help but feel like someone was watching me. Ignoring it for the time being, I went back to being the foolish little monster I am.

**-x-**

We were now getting ready in the bathroom for the night. I walked towards the bathroom with Lee, the man who had the sink beside mine. We were chit chatting about the "Power of Youth," As he liked to call it, or as I liked to call it, "Drugs." Shikamaru would insert comments here and there, but otherwise, Lee and I were all alone. I waited for Lee to finish in the bathroom, and then stood in front of my sink, staring at my reflection. I had bags under my eyes, nose still looked a little swollen, my lips were chapped, my hair was clean but messy, and I looked pale. Overall, I looked like shit. I finally took out my toothbrush and toothpaste, but I kept standing there, watching Shikamaru in the mirror. "Are you going to hurry up?" He said after a while, watching me squirt toothpaste on my toothbrush.

"Aww, waiting for me?" I asked, positioning the toothbrush in my mouth. I have a very precise way of brushing my teeth. I started brushing quickly, watching Shikamaru closely. I saw his expression change to surprise before he recomposed himself. "No... I simply like being alone in the bathroom when I brush my teeth."

"You're lying." I said bluntly. He finally grinned, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "Fine, I guess I am waiting. It is kind of troublesome though." My hand froze, the paste stinging my mouth. He just said he actually was waiting. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. _"Thanks, I guess." _I shook my head, and started brushing again.

"Here comes the so called 'Bastard'. I guess I can leave now." He said, nodding. I winked at him as he left the room... a couple seconds later though, Sasuke came in.

"Why are you here?" I asked, frowning at him. I realized my mistake a couple seconds later when he said, "Do you always act stupid? Or is it just around me?"

"Sorry. I have a lot on my mind, I guess." He looked shocked that I hadn't insulted him back. To tell you the truth, I really didn't feel like arguing with Sasuke at the moment anyways. I leaned over and spit the remaining toothpaste in my mouth into the sink, holding my hair back with one hand and my toothbrush in the other.

"Okay..." He was still staring stupidly as he spoke those words._ Stare much?_

"Sorry, once again. It's obvious what you do in bathrooms, isn't it?" I lifted the faucet handle with my forehead and placed my toothbrush underneath the cool water. I washed it off, and put it away in the cabinet. I reached for my towel at the same time.

"I would think so." He said, raising his eyebrows. I smiled at him as I lathered soap onto my hands. "Just a second." I whispered more to myself than him. I gently rubbed the soap onto my face, waited a couple seconds, and then leaned forward, splashing my face with a handful of water. I kept doing so until the soap suds were finally gone. I filled a cup with water and poured it into my mouth, swishing it around to get all traces of toothpaste out. Leaning over once again, I spit the foamy water from my mouth and wiped my face with a towel. Placing the towel out to dry on the towel rack, I made my way towards the youngest Uchiha. Rubbing my eyes tiredly, I stuck my tongue out at Sasuke.

"Good night, teme. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Good night, dobe."

**-x-**

**Hope you guys enjoyed, and please review! I'm not sure what the pairing/pairings is gonna be because Naruto seems to have developed quick relationships with Itachi, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Kiba. He's gonna be such a manslut. Haha, kidding. Our little Naru-kun is nothing like that. He's loyal and devoted. So tell me what pairing **_**you **_**guys like, and I'll think about it, aight? It can be any character really, I haven't introduced even half of the characters yet. I'll get more into depth with the other guys in the dorm and the slutty secretary Sakura, as well as Ino-pig and Hinata next chapter. Get ready for some POOOHHHLLEECCEEE work. That's not 'poo' by the way. It's supposed to be 'poh' as in 'po' in 'port' and then 'leece' as in 'lease':D -WTR**


	2. My Greatest Fear

**So I got z**_**ero **_**reviews, but a lot of 'Story Alerts' and 'Favourite Story(s)'. You guys make me feel horrible. I'm not even sure if uploading this chapter was a good idea. Anyways, I hope you like it. There's a bit of humour, which will most likely **_**not **_**be funny. There's also fluff, despite the fact I haven't decided on a pairing. I'll probably be choosing it, since you guys won't **_**review **_**and **_**tell **_**me! Love you guys the same, though. –WTR**

**-x-**

"**The power of imagination makes us infinite."**

**[John Muir]**

**-x-**

I woke up to a siren. Fire? Burglar? Air Raid? "The hell is making that noise!" I shouted, my voice muffled by my pillow. I felt something cold touch the back of my neck and instantly shot up. A grinning blonde stood in front of me. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, with her bangs covering half of her face. Her pale blue eyes twinkled mischievously at me.

"And you are?" I asked, refraining from releasing a string of colourful words. She seemed to notice this, so she cautiously reached the hand that didn't hold the ice pack out. Her grin appeared to falter. "Ino Yamanaka. I'm one of the female police officers?"

"Ah... Naruto Uzumaki. So, why, exactly... did you wake me up?" I said, shaking her hand. I kept my eyes on her, noticing every fidget, reaction, and movement. She pulled her hand away, and anxiously rubbed the back of her neck. _I must have a death glare on my face... too bad._

"It wasn't me, really. It was the alarm clock. I just had to get you to _stand _up." She said, gesturing behind me to where the other men were stretching. "Oh, alright then. It's nice to meet you. And thank-you for waking me up." I hesitantly smiled at her. She gave a quick nod before turning away and using the same procedure on Lee. Sasuke was lying on his bed beside mine and was staring up at the ceiling. I reached over and poked him in the side. I waited for the reaction that I didn't get. Finally, he sent a glare my way before asking, "What do you want?"

"I want you to get up... and walk to the bathroom with me." I said, flinching at the whine in my voice.

"Since when do 23 year olds need someone to walk them to the bathroom?" He smirked at me, lifting his head a little.

"How did you know my age?" My eyes narrowed slightly. He chose not to answer, so I got up from my spot on my bed and pushed him off of his mattress. "I asked a question, I want an answer." I yelled, oblivious to the stares of everyone presently awake in the room. I stood over Sasuke, watching the raven frown at my display of anger.

"I looked at your profile, alright? Now move." He said. When I stepped aside a couple seconds later, he stood up and pushed past me. Stopping at the door, he called out, "Still want me to walk you to the bathroom? Get moving, fat ass."

-x-

After having gotten ready at the bathroom, I walked with Shikamaru to the dining hall. It turned out that every morning there was a large buffet. There were large assortments of muffins, eggs, French toast, pancakes, bacon, sausages, and waffles. I filled up my plate and headed over to the concession for a frosty glass of orange juice. As I walked back, I saw Ino sitting at a table close to ours, arguing with a... pink... haired woman. Being the idiot I am, I walked over and sat beside the pinkette. Her eyes widened in surprise when she heard me slam my plate down forcefully.

"Hiya, Ino. Good morning, ladies." I said, giving a cheerful smile. A woman with dark hair bowed her head, so I couldn't take a good look at her. However, the woman beside me was beautiful. She had bright green eyes and the rarest hair color. Her smile was timid, while her body was positioned in a confident way. Her chest was pushed outwards, her back was straight, and her legs were closed tightly together, turned slightly towards me.

"Good morning. I'm Sakura Haruno." She said, introducing herself. It was my turn to be surprised when I heard her voice and realized she was the slutty secretary hitting on my boss.

"N-Naruto U-Uzumaki... please excuse m-me." I could barely contain my laughter, so I picked up my plate and glass and headed out of the cafeteria. I travelled through the long hallways, finally reaching my destination. Setting my glass on the floor so I could knock on the door, I stood awkwardly out of place outside of Itachi's office. I picked my glass up off the floor so I wouldn't look like an idiot. When the door opened I saw Itachi in just a white T-shirt and a pair of jeans that were tightly fitted around the ankles.

"Mind if I eat my breakfast in here?" I asked, offering a small smile. Itachi arched his eyebrow at me before answering, "Is there something wrong with the dining hall?" He stepped aside anyways.

"No, I just wanted someone... _normal_ to talk to." I said, falling into the chair I had sat in yesterday after setting my breakfast down. Itachi sat down in his own chair before digging into his own breakfast.

"Itachi... do I get my first case today?"

Itachi took a sip of his glass of water before replying. "What makes you think you should get a case?"

"What makes _you _think I _shouldn't _get a case?" I retorted, glaring at him.

"Naruto..." He said in a warning tone. I stuffed half of my remaining scrambled eggs in my mouth, and opened it widely while staring pointedly at Itachi. He grimaced before saying, "Oh, two can play at that game!" He shoved a quarter of a pancake and half a sausage in to his mouth, chewed twice, and opened his mouth.

"Nuh-uh. You're _not _going to win this." I said, shovelling in some bacon and a piece of French toast. Chewing quickly, I leaned across the table, opened my mouth, and let the lump of chewed, salivated, food fall onto his plate. He gave a whimper of disgust.

"Naruto, that's taking it too far! What am I supposed to eat now?" He shouted. I flinched before returning back to my seat. Suddenly feeling guilty, I pushed my plate towards him. He looked up with a questioning gaze. Sighing, I stabbed a sausage and shoved it into his open mouth.

"Thanks?" He said, tilting his head in confusion as he munched.

"No problem. So please, please, can I get a case?" I pleaded. He gave a groan of discontentment, but opened one of his drawers anyways, and pulled out a cream coloured folder. He took out a packet of papers held together by a clip, scanned them briefly, before handing them over. Surprising me, he opened his mouth, looking at the plate of food in front of him.

"You want me to keep feeding you, Itachi-_kun_?" I teased, but lifted a piece of French toast up to his mouth anyways. Putting the fork down beside the plate, I read over the first page.

_Tazuna Ibaraki, a bridge builder from the Land of Waves, is requesting body guards to escort him back to his hometown and protect him until the bridge is completed. He has requested simple protection, from thieves or troublemakers. This has been labelled a C-rank task._

"Is this the case you plan on giving me?" I asked, frowning at the words, 'Land of Waves'.

"Yes. Is there a problem with it?" Itachi mumbled. He was still chewing on the large piece of French toast I had fed him.

"L-land of W-waves, t-that means w-w-water right?" I asked, feeling my heart race. Sweat coated my hands, but I clenched them anyways.

"I would assume so... are you alright, Naruto? You're looking a little pale." Itachi said, leaning forward slightly. I gave a quick nod before answering hoarsely, "I can't. I c-can't take this c-case. I'm s-sorry."

"Why not?" Itachi questioned, narrowing his eyes at me. "I... I'm s-scared of l-large bodies of wa-w-water."

''Of _water_?''

''Yes! It's not as bad as being scared of spiders or the dark!'' I shouted defensively. He chuckled lightly, but got serious again.

''Why are you afraid of water?''

''I c-can't tell you...'' I muttered, lowering my head slightly.

''And why not?'' Itachi asked, raising his eyebrows.

''I just can't, okay?'' I glared darkly at him. He retaliated with a glare of his own. ''I'm your boss. I should know these types of things! Maybe if you told me why you're scared, I could help you!''

''You _can't _help me. That's the thing!''

''Do you have proof that I can't?''

''Yes. My girlfriend tried, but didn't succeed, obviously.'' I stated matter-of-factly. Itachi seemed to quiet down at this. ''Thanks for letting me eat in here. I won't bother you again.'' I sighed, standing up and taking my now empty plate and glass with me. When I was about to exit, my fork slid off my plate, and landed on the clean white carpet at the entrance. Frowning at the loud clatter, I bent down to pick it up. Naturally, the fork had been covered in syrup and grease. "Sorry. That might stain." I mumbled, my cheeks burning up. I left quietly, shutting the door behind me. "I don't think dramatic exits are my forte."

-x-

''What a dick! I told him specifically I couldn't take this one, and he gives it to me anyways!'' I screamed. Ino, Sasuke, and an older police man, Kakashi, stood beside me, tolerating the abuse on their ears. We were currently crowded outside of the Police headquarters, waiting for Tazuna to get here. The sky was a bright blue, while clouds casually drifted in and out of sight. The sun shone harshly, so stepping out into the sunlight left your eyes somewhat sore. Squinting my eyes at a passing butterfly, I got ready to complain again.

''Shut up, dobe. The point of this case isn't to complain, it's to escort this man back to his hometown.'' Sasuke said, halting my next insulting sentence. Ino appeared amused, while Kakashi was too busy reading a pornographic novel to notice.

''Alright, sorry, I just don't particularly enjoy oceans.'' I apologized quietly. We waited in silence for a couple minutes before the bridge builder finally arrived.

''So they expect me to just trust you brats with my life?'' He muttered, clutching onto his backpack tightly.

''Brat? Don't underestimate me, old man!'' I shouted. I was just itching to pound him to dust, but Kakashi put a hand on my shoulder, briefly _delaying _my rising anger.

''Who you calling old man, ya runt!''He yelled, pointing a tanned finger at me.

''You of course, you're the only old man here, geezer... except for Benjamin Button here, with the bizarre hair color! Almost as weird as that slutty secretary, she has _pink _hair. I mean, who the hell is born with pink hair? Is that even natural? If I was-'' As usual, my rant was cut short by the bastard.

''Let's go already. I want to get this over with.'' He said. Infuriated by his interrupted, I couldn't help but insult him. ''Yeah, so you can go mope alone.''

''The hell, dobe? What about me gives you the impression that I'm emo?''

''I don't know, Sasuke. How about _everything_.''

''Guys, shut the hell up. Or I will break your jaws.'' Ino muttered dangerously. We all turned to look at her. She was cracking her knuckles, adding to the whole 'Hi, I'm a crazy bitch who can break you in half,' scenario.

''Sure, sure. Let's go.'' I managed to say. She was just _releasing _malicious intent into the air. It was clogging my windpipes. We quickly filed into the car, Sasuke taking the wheel while I took the seat next to his. Ino and Kakashi sandwiched Tazuna in the back. I didn't miss Sasuke's flinch when Ino shouted for him to drive.

''She clogging up your windpipes too?'' I asked. Sasuke briefly turned to look at me. ''What have you been smoking?''

-x-

We had been traveling for quite a while when the car rolled over a puddle, and the muddy water that now surrounded the car rendered vision useless. So we all got out, stared at the car in amusement, and reached for towels to wipe off the mud. Kakashi seemed to gaze thoughtfully at the puddle, watching us work, before I wet the tip of my towel, rolled it up tightly, and snapped it at him.

"Does anybody else find that odd?" Ino said, leaning back to stare at the window she had cleaned.

"Find what odd?" I questioned, giving one last swipe at the windshield.

"It hasn't rained for weeks... yet there's a huge puddle in the middle of the road."

"Irrigation? Hoses?" I said mockingly.

"Shut up, Uzumaki." She bit back.

"Oooh. Mad, Yamanaka?" I teased. She glared at me before repeating, "Seriously though. It's... odd. Slightly unsettling."

"I agree, Ino." Kakashi said, startling both Sasuke and me while Ino beamed proudly. Before she could say anything to shove it in our faces, though, a loud noise distracted us, which resulted in a small hole in the car.

"Someone's shooting us!" I shouted at my fellow police men. "No shit!" Ino said, pulling me behind the car with her. I pulled out my HK 45, and ignoring Sasuke's protests, aimed it at the trees we were being shot at from. A figure stepped out onto the road, and immediately after I pulled the trigger, I heard a clicking beside me, and the sting of cold metal being pushed against my temple.

"Move, and you die. Scream, you die." A raspy voice said. I felt the warmth of their breath, and I _smelled _it too. I stopped myself from commenting on the unpleasant smell.

"Those are very unfortunate circumstances." I said, managing to keep my sense of humour. The man wrapped his other hand around my wrist, holding them together. Slowly, he led me backwards. I watched as Ino and Sasuke shot at the other man from behind the car, as Kakashi held Tazuna to the floor, as they didn't even notice I was being pulled away into the dark forest.

"No, I guess not. If you don't try anything, I might not kill you. Don't get your hopes up though." The man replied. I smiled slighty, but the smile was wiped away when I felt the impact of metal entering my flesh. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out. My right hand was now bleeding profusely, staining the dirt beneath it.

"Damn it, oh Lord. It hurts! Shit!" I whispered harshly. Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away.

"Never gotten shot before, eh, kid?" The man asked, chuckling softly at my reaction.

"No. It's my first day as a Police officer, and already I have a gun at my head. Just goes to tell you how much I'm not meant for this job." I gasped.

"When you've been on the job for as long as I have, getting shot becomes second nature to you. Don't worry, kid. I was just like you. Look where I am now?" The man said, sighing.

"Funny. You're comforting me while you're holding the gun to my head." I grimaced.

"I can't do much else, kid. I have a family to take care of." He said, but his hold slackened considerably.

"It's okay. I understand. So... why are you doing this anyways?" I asked, squirming a bit.

"..."

"I'm going to die anyways, sir. You might as well tell me..."

"We're after that bridge builder."

"What? Why? He's building a goddamn bridge!"

"Yes, I know. Gato's employed us. He wants us to get rid of him so the bridge can't be finished. That way, the Land of Waves will never be connected to land, so Gato can remain in control. He's managed to control everything, making the people of the Land of Waves poor."

"I see... he just wants to stay in control, to make more money, huh?"

"That's correct." Naruto sighed in relief when Sasuke turned to yell at him for not doing anything, and realizing he wasn't there.

"Sir... I'm sorry. But I've got to do this." I said. He had now loosened his grip enough for me to move. I quickly thrust my head back, feeling the crush of bone on my scalp. He gave a shout before aiming his gun at me. Quickly rolling out of the way, I got up and ran back to the car. In order to avoid getting shot, I weaved carefully through the trees, never stopping to allow a direct hit. When I finally reached the car, I slumped breathlessly down onto the ground and clutched my hand, letting out a cry of pain. Ino turned to look at me, never having noticed my absence, while Sasuke and Kakashi breathed out in relief. When Sasuke noticed my hand, however, he quickly took it into his own and began examining the wound. He turned my hand over, so it was facing him palm up.

"There's no exit wound, meaning the bullet is still lodged in there. That might become a problem..." He said, sighing. I let him wipe away the blood and wrap it an adhesive bandage. "Ino, how's it going over there?" I asked, flinching when Sasuke pulled tightly on the bandage.

"That's too tight!" I whimpered, moving my hand away. Ino looked down at my hand, horror clear on her face. "You got _shot_? When? Why wasn't I told! I _am _the paramedic!"

"It's supposed to be tight." Sasuke said angrily, gripping my hand.

"Sasuke insisted on doing it himself. He's a persistent bastard." I answered. Sasuke frowned at me, and I smiled. "He did a great job, though."

"The guy's taken care of. So when'd you- shit! Another one?" Ino shrieked.

"I'm not sure... when _was _the last time I took a dump, Sasuke?" I asked, turning towards the Uchiha. He scoffed before pointing his gun at the forest behind us. Realization dawned on me, and I quickly knocked their guns to the floor. They turned to look at me, and at the same moment said, "The hell, Naruto?"

"Don't shoot, please, don't!" I pleaded. Kakashi pushed Tazuna onto the floor behind us."Why not?" The grey haired officer asked. I shrugged slightly, keeping my eyes on the forest. "He took me captive... he has a family! He's just doing this for them! Maybe he'll have a change of heart."

I slowly stood up, my eyes piercing the dark shadow only I could see lurking in the trees. I walked towards it, completely oblivious to the looks of insanity that were being presented my way. I kept moving forward, with my hands raised in front of me in a sign of surrender. As soon as I reached the tree line, I was proved wrong.

I heard the sound long before I felt the impact. Three bullets simultaneously lodged themselves into my left forearm, my right thigh, and a couple of centimetres above my belly button. Pain seared through me, but it focused especially on the four bullet wounds I now had on my body. Blood was now staining my uniform, while a small trail of red trickled from my mouth and down my chin.

"NARUTO!" I heard Ino, Sasuke, and Kakashi cry. Gravity was now pulling me back.

**I let the clouds lull me into a deep slumber.**

**-x-**

**So I hope that was somehow enjoyable. The ending was super cliché, but it just had to end that way. I don't mean to sound whiney, but the only way you'll get more of this is if you review. The lack of reviews is getting me down. No joke. Love you guys –WTR.**


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